She Thought No One Would Understand

Welcome to the kraziness.

Saturday, September 25, 2004 first real update.

this weekend is hopefully going to be fun. it better be.
mom says that she'll/carly will take me driving for my first legal time today. i hope that happens... i never really cared about driving, but now i ask to drive anytime we go somewhere. that was totally unexpected!
...i am so happy it's the weekend. i really needed it. a break into reality, eh? it's weird... school's going fine and everything, but it just feels... so repititve. crap, i know i spelled that wrong....
eh, oh well, you know what i mean.
here's every day this week:
wake up
get ready
go to school
come home
go on computer

it's just sooooooooo boring! life just feels pointless.
oh and speaking of pointless lifes, jaike tells me that we shouldn't hate osama bin ladin. or hitler. or anyone else.
we should love them. e
ven the people that want rape and kill you. LOVE THEM!
... jaike is so weird. i ask him 'why?! they're horrible people!' and he responds by say that we're 'all god's creatures'.
... 'well, what if you don't believe in god?'
'then you're leading a pointless life.'

oooh... of course!
... weirdo.

anyway, here's a bit of angst. :)
it sucks not being included in things, to put it bluntly. maybe it's because i don't let them know? no, no, i always try to let people know how i feel... even if they don't want to. but... when i hear someone, whom i thought was one of my best friends say
'you going to tonights game?'
'well, do you wanna go? i'll go if you go.'
'i'm going with krystal and yonlanda'
'then we're going cosmic bowling!'
sure, i'd never invite myself, but i mean... god dammit haley!!!
yay, i said it. haley's been so.... arggggg stupid latley. she NEVER even talks with me, hangs out or ANYTHING! it's always KRYSTAL and YOLANDA! well... what about ME?! i've been her friend way longer then them, and i've always been there for haley and now it's like... well, i saw haley and krystal walking in the halls laughing and stuff, and i just felt as though haley doesn't need me anymore. that made me very sad. but people do drift away right? and we do need to move on and let go... but, it's just so hard. i've never had a lot of good friends.
it sucks. already i lost two of my best friends.
speaking of best friends, i miss lilo soooooo much!! i haven't talked with her in person since summer! and i worry about her.... poor pumpkin.

yeah, so anway...

Wow...ANOTHER online journal?!

here it blog.
...blogger. :)

Any way...
I'll updata later, gotta fix thing around to my liking. ;D